Every guy should probably ask himself at one point or another, Have I been cheap? Most likely, if he’s honest, the answer will be, Can you get this round? I know I’ve been cheap. Cheap, or overly extravagant… in the former category, I regret making L. buy her own salad on our third date, if only because she never let me forget it for the three years we went out.
In the latter category, I regret that $100 purse I bought for S. two Christmases ago, and which I saw her use only once, and that for laundry. Then there was that king’s ransom I spent to fly J. out here, on the off-chance we’d get back together. The money would have been better spent on hookers and blow.
I think I’m a lot better now than I used to be when it comes to throwing around the cash. That probably comes from hanging out with the Professor, who recently hectored me into buying two gifts instead of just one for the Texas Twister. There’s no being cheap if you’re a guy on her watch. And my friend Frank is an influence: my natural inclination is to round off to the lower number when it comes to tipping or, gulp, paying for my gal. But then I’ll ask, “What would Frank do?” Considering the answer is, “He’d pick up the tab,” I don’t listen to that voice, but at least I ask the question.
But at least I’m not as bad as some friends of mine. I mean, it’s one thing to be cheap, and another to revel in it by telling a story that goes, “Yeah, I bought her [his ex-girlfriend] this expensive scarf, a hundred bucks, but then we broke up so I said, ‘Hey, you owe me hundred bucks.’” (Note to friend: this is an anecdote you keep to yourself or for your buddies after you’ve had a few rum sandwiches, it’s not something you tell someone you’re trying to score with.)
Then again, there was that time, just a few months ago, when I almost bought the Texas Twister a paisley sleep-mask–but then decided $35 was a little much to pay for a(nother) sleep mask.
Looking back on my own dating history, I can definitely see some times and places I could’ve been more generous, or at least paid for the condoms. And I guess I’d have to say that, even today, I’m not quite as free with money as I’d like to be, even within my own quite modest means.
And I have to admit, I wouldn’t mind getting my money back for that @#$^in’ $100 purse.
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