Some book I read recently had a phrase along the lines of, “Everyone loves someone who’s about to be married.”
Make that, everyone but me.
Perhaps that character in the book should have said: Everyone’s willing to do extra things and go along with all kinds of madness for engaged people, since they’re going to be forced into it whether they like it or not, so why not give in gracefully…
I know this is not just me. I have read advice columns on the topic… in business columns, even in an in-flight mag I think. One of the people writing in for advice was a GUY. He couldn’t take the bride-zilla-ness of a colleague. If guys are writing in to agony aunt columns, you know it’s bad.
I’m writing 3 books over the summer, and my first deadline is next Wednesday. (Hence the silence.) Actually it was supposed to be last Monday, but I begged 10 more days for myself. It’s been the busiest month of my life. And yet, I’ve found time to throw a bridal shower and a bachelorette party, to plan a trip to Hawaii (that’s where the wedding is), and to write up a marketing plan for my soon-to-be-brother-in-law’s new business…because “don’t you care what happens to our future and the family we will soon have?” (Yes I care. I am the kind of sucker who cares so much that I took my Fourth of July morning to write the damn thing.)
But damned if I care enough about this wedding, or if I have gone through enough hoops in its honor…because I left my dog at the soon-to-be-hitched folks’ house in SF for three days so I could run all over Northern California doing last-minute research. And I got a midnight phone call last nite telling me how inconsiderate I am.
“Don’t you care that this is the busiest week of our lives?” said the soon-to-be in-law.
“Don’t you care that it’s the busiest month of mine, and I’ve been working 19 hours a day?” I asked.
“Forget that. It’s the busiest week of ours.” he responds.
Ooookay. Question answered.
How is it that spending far too much money to put on fancy clothes and walk down an aisle is so much more difficult than writing an entire book?
Or wait. Could it be (and I know this is a very controversial statement) that IT’S NOT!?! It’s just that, thanks to American commercial notions, we are all supposed to kow-tow to that ridiculous notion on the part of the bride and groom. Hence the parties, the presents, the time commitments, the 6 months of saying “yes” to every request, with a smile? And in the end, it’s still not enough.
I am an easygoing single, and I have not snapped yet (except on the Internet…ahahah). But I promise you this: While I may someday marry, I will NEVER put my family, or my friends, or myself, through this nonsense. Sheesh. It’s about vows, commitment and a friggin’ cake. Everything else is just a pain in the ass gravy.
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