Just when I have become determined to get out of the dating game, they pull me back in.
But before you start panicking, ladies, let me clarify. Basically, I have come to realize everything I know, or thought I knew, about attraction is wrong. Oh sure, I’ve gotten lucky a few times, and I’ve been in relationships with a number of remarkable women. But most of that was pure chance. I mean, if I’d put half the time, effort* and thought I’ve put into dating towards, say, stopping genocide, I might have saved a few lives. And where has all this effort gotten me? Single, at an age when other men are already on their second or third marriage. And writing about my social life. Online.
So I have come up with a contract for myself. I won’t bore you with its many points, although I’m sure they’ll come up as this blog progresses. Suffice it to say, in the interests of trying to, once and for all, figure out this whole guy-girl thing—and cash in on the ever-growing subgenre of stunt journalism (that is, where a writer embarks on a change of lifestyle for a certain time period, then writes about it, and secures a book deal)—I have made note of all the habits and behaviours I’ve accumulated over the years when it comes to pursuing the opposite sex. Like, for instance, pursuing the opposite sex. And, for the next six months, I am going to attempt to do the opposite. This won’t be a dating blog—it’s an anti-dating blog; an attempt to unlearn my old ways while trying new things.
But don’t worry, action fans. If it’s controversies over who should pay the bill at the end of the meal, when to call someone who’s given you their number, and what happens when someone flies across the continent to spend a weekend with a bartender she met for an hour is what you want, I’ve got plenty of friends still out in the single-eat-single real world. Plus, I’ve got a whole whack of credits the folks at Lava HQ have provided.
I’m not kidding myself. It’s not going to be easy. And I’m sure there’ll be relapses. But, you know, life’s a journey. Trust the process. And send me your Backstage…
Whoops! See? There I go again…
*Note: an ex of mine, reading this over before publication, begged to differ with my assessment of the effort I put into “relationships”. Just to be clear, I’m talking about dating, hooking up, meeting, etc. Relationships are a whole ‘nother matter.
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